Just Breathe

When I'm sick I usually retain my strengh, but I've got another psychosomatic effect, that lowers my will: I would like to hug my dad, like when I was a kid, together in his bed, and fall asleep with my head laying on his chest, hearing his heartbeat, reassuring me he's still there with me, and then fall asleep like this, silently watching a movie with him.
Or I'd love to have The Woman next to me, hugging me and talking with me while I lay on Her, hugging Her as well.
It might seem stupid, but the best medicine for me, when I'm sick, or I have any other issue, is Love.

A Couple of Thought Words

Many are the things I've told you
So many more I'd like to tell
All of those words I thought about
Words that I'd like to yell

Not here, not now,
Maybe nowhere and never.

Many are the things we've done
So many more I'd like to do
All of those things that we've dreamt about
Dreams where there's always you

Not here, not now
Maybe nowhere and never...

But I thank you, and thank you, and thank you again
For what you gave me, and what you're still giving me;
AndI thank you, and thank you, and thank you again
For being by my side, and for somehow being still...

The future's invisible, the present's a lie,
But our past together is the truth and will never die...

You'll be with me forever.

(Copyrighted lyrics from the song "A Couple of Thought words" - All rights reserved)

Black

It's quite late. Very late, some would say. I ended up sitting in front of my computer. I promised myself I'd try to go to bed early today.
I would like to smoke. I quit a long time ago, but sometimes the anguish, the suffering, the pain simply are too strong to resist.
And so I puffed.
I feel tired, but something keeps me from going to bed.It's not the cigarette, it's not the conversations... Idon't know why, but I'm afraid of sleeping tonight. Irrational, I know, but that's that.

Money

Now, now, I might be dumb, and I'm for sure no economist, but there are a couple of things that even my grandma from her grave could understand quite clearle, and that's that all this crisis, all this intangible economical values, all this is just a plot made up by bankers to rule the world.
Now, of course most people would comment to any such opinions that we are just a bunch of conspiracy-paranoids, communists (since when has communism become an insult, given the fact that the only true communism is a theory exposed in a book, being all the applications fouled by human greed?); in the best cases we are "ignorants".

So, let's start from this last definition. "Ignorant" doesn't mean "lazy", so I demand explanations from all those who know more than me.
Why did we all have to give up our monetary sovereignty? Where is the necessity to do that? Isn't it possibile to have PUBLIC bank, not a private one, appointed to issue our currency? Isn't it AT LEAST controversial to leave the representation of a country's richness in the hands of a bunch of private wild hogs, who care only about their richness, and don't give a damn about ANYTHING else? Isn't it complete nonsense that we have to pay for this currency MORE than the value of the currency notes themselves?

Question 2: why globalization? Has it done any good? Oh, of course now you can buy a LED tv for a few bucks, but... hasen't the price of food risen? And the overall quality of your life? And that made in china hairdryer, didn't it break in ten days? So where are the benefits of globalization? I've seen only salary losses, right losses, pollution, ending up in fuckin' China buying the world. And why did the various States give up ANY control on economy? I mean, it is a fact that the corporations care only about THEMSELVES: how could they be let free to do what they want?

Democracy: why are half of the major political figures ex high-level Goldman-Sachs workers? Why have we got, in Italy, a Prime Minister who wasn't even remotely elected by the people? Why do WE, population, the MAJORITY, have to pay for private debts?

I think bankers are the only responsible for all this, along with corporations. So, why don't we simply apply what they did in Iceland?
Oh, nobody knows? Oh, yes, everything was censored.

They arrested bankers.
Here's the link.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iceland
Apparently, the English version censored the details. For those who can understand and read Italian, here you go:
http://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islanda
Have fun feeling screwed.


Damn, an article like this required much more than my tiny blog-space and DAYS to write it properly.

Where Eagles Dare

Every day, on my way to work, I drive through a street that, if it wouldn't stop, it would lead me directly to the alps. Normally Milano is way to polluted to see the monuntains, but sometimes a blessed rain or some wind clean the air, and everything is visible for miles.
And those are the worst days.
Those are the days when, while I drive, I wish I didn't have to stop. Sometimes the feeling is so intense that I feel like not going to work, craving to reach those white tops.
Then I have to turn left, and the dream is broken, and an unspeakable sadness pinches my heart.
But, to tell the truth, during those days it's only my body that turns left, and goes to work: my soul has gone further on, miles away, on those icy tops, where the sun is so strong in contrast with the coldness of the snow, where the wind freezes your nose-hair, where everything is white and peaceful, where I can imagine that, walking, I would reach a green valley with a chalet, a lake and trees, a place of bliss where I could be free.

It's all about this: freedom.

More than Words

I.
Miss.
You.

All Apologies

Brother,

  there is a remorse inside my soul: the memory of something bad I did many, many years ago, and just now, at the mature age of 32, I've found the courage to talk about it and apologize.

I have always had a bad temper, and growing up in our family surely didn't help, although this is no excuse.

Brother, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for that day when, for some stupid reason, I hurt you so much, hitting and hitting, unable to stop. Believe me, I beg you, when I say that not a single day ends without me feeling a piece of filthy crap for that. We were so small, just kids, yet I was big and strong already - and I should have used my strength to protect you, not to harm you.
The sound of your crying haunts me, and I bear it as the fair price to pay. Those tears of yours are the same I cry now, in silence, when I can speak with thw only person I know who really knows how horribly I feel- myself.

I'm sorry, dear brother. Since that day I have always been keeping my hands at bay. But the memory remains, and today I've decided to face it by apologizing to you with my heart open wide.

I love you, brother. Whatever happens, whatever our differences might be, no matter how hard we'll argue in the future, I'll always love you.

Your brother.

There's love when...

...you see an old, used handkerchief o' hers in a drawer, and it reminds you of something nice about her, and you leave that handkerchief where it is.

Sunset

Why is the pain inside me

so excruciating

when the sun goes down?