Exam session

Due to an exam session at UNI, I've got no time to write anything.
Will be back soon.
Thanks.

Dumb

I know it's stupid, but I can't stop thinking about her, I can't stop loving her.
I still can't believe it's all over, that I was brought to such a point as to say "that's it, farewell".
I still can't stop wishing one of the two: either that she stays out of my life, letting me heal, or that she comes to me mature enough and in love with me.

Before Tomorrow Comes

So the day has come and passed. We should have been sleeping together now. The day would have come, and we were supposed to travel to my place, to finally start our life together.
Alas, this is only a dream now.
I had it all figured out in such a way as to fulfill my duties and build up a nice life together, travelling, without any worries.
You felt differently, ok, but I can't stop thinking about that "I love you" you've told me.
You shouldn't have said those words. Those were the only words you shouldn't have said, IF you were not able to behave by those words. I was ready once again to give you my heart.


How sad.

Limelight

Alan Parsons Project - "Limelight"

I really don't know whether mine is a sort of raging, or desperation, or what else.
I don't know.
But I know I'm trying to channel all my feelings in one direction: making my life better, becoming a better person, in a better body with a better mind; with better intentions and more focus, aiming to be happy.

I feel devastated, raped in my inner feelings, yet I don't want to give up, and if this wasteland o' mine can be my fuel, so let it be.

I want to acheive some things, first of all saving my family.
I'll be under my father, mother and aunts' Limelight.
And I make a promise to myself: that never, ever again I'll accept to be with someone for whom I'm the second.
I want to be in my girl's Limelight.
Then I'll start trying to help other people live a better life.
I will be in Goodness' Limelight.

"Limelight shining on me, telling the world who I am!
Maybe the road's not easy, maybe the prize is small...
After all the years of waiting I'm gonna show them alll!"




Davvero non so se la mia è una sorta di rabbia, o disperazione.
Non lo so.
Ma so che sto cercando di incanalare i miei sentimenti in una direzione: rendere la mia vita migliore, diventare una persona migliore, con un corpo e una mente migliori; con migliori intenti e più concentrazione, puntando ad esser felice.

Mi sento devastato, stuprato nei miei intimi sentimenti, ciò nonostante non voglio arrendermi, e se questa terra bruciata dentro di me può essere il mio carburante, così sia.

Voglio realizzare alcuni obiettivi, primo fra tutti salvare la mia famiglia.
Sarò sotto i riflettori di mio padre, di mia madre e delle mie zie.
E mi sono promesso che mai, mai più acetterò di stare con qualcuna per cui sono in secondo piano.
Voglio essere sotto il riflettore della mia ragazza.
Poi comincerò a provare ad aiutare altre persone a vivere una vita migliore.
Sarò sotto il riflettore del Bene.

"Limelight shining on me, telling the world who I am!
Maybe the road's not easy, maybe the prize is small...
After all the years of waiting I'm gonna show them alll!"

The Pages of Your Love

Tiny, simple words,
Written dreamingly on invisible paper,
Sometimes carelessly, sometimes not.
When all is over,
It's all you've got:
By some you learn,
By some you die,
By some you wonder
Or you reach the sky.

Diary or memory,
You can't understand:
All in all, you're just a little man,
Wandering astray with forlorn eyes
When your anguish comes,
And your heart cries
Out loud for help
Or joy.

There comes a time
When you have to face
The flight of the Holy Dove.
When that time comes,
In good or bad,
This is all you have:
One by one
The pages of your love.

It's a Hard Life

My head is spinning, so much I'm thinking. The thoughts are many, the feeling always the same. Not four days have passed, and this feeling of being powerless and useless doesn't abandon me.
I don't know whether I'd want the phone to ring or not, I don't know how I'd react. Feelings of love and hatred, of relief and anguish, of power and weakness all coexist in my head, and all I can do is rely on friends to cheer me up and share some of my pain.
One thing is sure: I wasn't given the respect, the love, the warmth I deserve.
Inside me I know I'll get better, so Hope remains: hope for some happiness, hope that this suffering ends.
But still I watch my phone, and some part of me can't avoid to hope for a call.
I'ts very stupid, I know.
I deserve a lot. If not for my guts, at least for my kindness. I'm strong, and I'm not useless at all. I have tons of qualities.
I deserve to be loved.


Mi gira la testa, tanto sto pensando. I pensieri sono molti, il sentimento sempre lo stesso. Non sono passati nemmeno quattro giorni, e questa sensazione di impotenza e di inutilità non mi abbandona.
Non so se vorrei o meno che il telefono squillasse, non so come reagirei. Sensazioni di amore e odio, sollievo e angoscia, forza e debolezza coesistono tutti nella mia mente, e tutto quel che posso fare è affidarmi agli amici affinchè mi rallegrino e si prendano un po' del mio dolore.
Una cosa è sicura: non mi sono stati dati il rispetto, l'amore e il calore che merito.
Dentro di me so che starò meglio, quindi la Speranza rimane: speranza di un po' di felicità, speranza che questa sofferenza finisca.
Ma ancora guardo il telefono, e una qualche parte di me non può evitare di sperare in una chiamata.
E' molto stupido, lo so.
Io merito molto. Se non per le mie palle, almeno per la mia gentilezza. Sono forte, e non sono per niente inutile. Ho un sacco di qualità.
Mi merito di essere amato.

Tears Roll Down

Tears.
Roll.
Down.